You would even say it glows? Rudolph's Nose is Losing Brightness
December 13, 2016 | Mike Commito
A new holiday edition briefing note released by Northern Policy Institute, You would even say it glows? Rudolph's Nose is Losing Brightness, reveals new research that has discovered as Rudolph has aged over the past sixty years, his nose has lost 79% of its brightness. Documents obtained by NPI reveal that Santa Claus's own research began taking comprehensive diagnostics in 1956.
Based on their findings, the author makes three key recommendations to mitigate this trend:
1) Santa Claus should partner with one of Northern Ontario’s colleges in order to develop an applied research project that will focus on creating an artificial lighting and harnessing system that can be affixed to Rudolph;
2) In order to reduce disruptions with Christmas deliveries in Northern Ontario, it is suggested that the provincial government should seek to enhance the region’s infrastructure, particularly when it comes to municipal lighting;
3) Individuals celebrating Christmas should elevate their levels of holiday spirit. The reduction of vibrancy in Rudolph’s nose may not be the result of any physical issues, therefore it is recommended that emitting increased Christmas cheer could have a psychologically uplifting effect on the red-nosed reindeer.